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Berm's Eye View: A baseball outsider looks out

Berm's Eye View: A baseball outsider looks out

Tag Archives: Baseball

Rain Delay For What?

20 Tuesday Jun 2017

Posted by apeville in Baseball

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Baseball, Braves, Giants, zen

IMG_4567.JPG

Since MLB is obviously never going to permit a major league team move to Tennessee, I must travel for my fix.  Actually, it’s the Braves who won’t allow it. But, I digress.

So, yeah, I can’t beat the Braves or MLB, so thank the baseball gods I have a working car with a full tank of gas and a heavy right foot to make it go.

Picking a game or series involves both struggle and joy.  Which series? Which pitchers will you get? Weather? Seats? Solo, wife or friend army? Lodging? Parking? Getting time off? Schedules? Who feeds the dog? Does the dog WANT go? How do you get the dog in?

I assume the joy part of the equation will be the game itself.  It damn well better be after all that planning.

You can control some of the planning elements, but you definitely can’t control the weather unless you want to be a Rays fan. That’s one line I shan’t cross.

Otherwise, you just have to roll the dice.  Mostly, for this trip, things lined up well.  The Giants are coming to ATL, so that’s that. One game solo, one game pals. Cueto vs. Dickey. Oh yes. Posey in the lineup both nights. Seats are easy to score on a Monday. All giant (ahem) check marks.  And, for the most part, decent weather is displayed in the 10-day sucker deception chart on weather.com.

I loaded up the vehicle with the correct shirts, podcasts and snacks. One more obligatory ‘why bother checking the weather you are going anyway’ weather check before getting on the road. Of course the forecast was suddenly foreboding- as if it were waiting for me to get on I-75 before it told me the truth.

But. For some reason. I didn’t care. I was going. That was….enough?

And it was like that the whole day. Google Maps goes down right as I pull of I-75. Eh, I’ll find it.  Bad check-in instructions for the Air BnB. Yeah, well, I’m early and this BnB is nicer than the photos.  No good places to eat around the stadium.  Yeah, well, I’m going to baseball. I can get bad food there.

I marched up to the Suntrust ticket booth and bought my ticket old style from a HUMAN BEING who gave me a PAPER ticket.

Me: Are you sure this is a covered section, rain free?

Him: Yep.

Me: Double sure? I really want a dry seat.

Him: Yep.

He was wrong. It was directly in the rain.  And rain it did.  From 6:43 until 7:50, delaying the game.  It rained with vigor, like it wanted the Giants to have the night off. (They took it off anyway.)

I went to the usher in my section to explain that the ticket guy sold me a bill of goods but not a dry seat. Before I could explain the obviously winning arguments that I had over-rehearsed in my head before approaching him- he shut me down.

Michael The Usher: No problem, sit in the Giant’s family section. It’s covered.

Me: Yes. Yes, I will. Thank you, kind usher.

The only moment in the day where I sensed my zen was slipping was just seconds before the moment he hit me on the head with unsuspected generosity.  He saw me tensing up and would have none of it.  This is baseball, son, enjoy your neurotic self.  I bow to to Michael the usher.

When the national anthem kicked in I realized it was one of those rare days when the ‘I will be satisfied once- and only once  X, Y, and Z occur’ switch was not engaged.

And I sat there in dryness, talking it up with the colorful array of gabbing Giants fans, including one senior soul who’s kids drove him from Arkansas just for the game. We watched the beautiful rain come down, studied the amazing ground crew battle and defeat the elements, observed people meandering about like it mattered not where they ended up. Nobody seemed bummed out, even the ones who bought those questionable and nasty A-shaped pretzels.  Even when the Giants had the living daylights beat out of them, we all delighted in the joy of each other’s co-misery.

How can that be? I don’t know, maybe you can’t delay the joy when it’s already here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On The Evening Of Game 7

02 Wednesday Nov 2016

Posted by apeville in Baseball

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Tags

Baseball, cubs, Tennessee Smokies, Todd Steed

img_1795

I don’t need to tell any of you Indians and Cubs fans about the absolute tense, terrifying, thrill of an impending game 7. So I won’t.

Instead, here’s a love letter.

We booked an AirBnB in Chicago that was walking distance from you. I had heard all of the stories and accolades about you for years. Your ivy, your history, your vibe and your sad selection of nasty food and antique bathrooms. Yes, I know you are a bit older than some of the others, it’s in your profile. You were already swaying in the wind when the Golden Gate Bridge was on the drawing table. But some of us prefer a little age.  It gives us time to see where things really stand and how steadily they stand there. You are beauty that defies numbers, categories and adjacent parking lots.

Best way to get there? Best way to get anywhere: walk it.

We left two hours before the first pitch from North Hamilton.  There are a dozen routes to get to it, but we went through the streets of old neighborhoods with no shortage of trees, character, breezes and brownstones.

Meander. Stroll. Take a photo. Grab a sip. You’ll get there. You can’t get lost. Follow the happy people.

And then, like the Grand Canyon it just sort of appears out of nowhere. And like the Grand Canyon or the Brooklyn Bridge- you have seen the pictures but you have never felt the place. You will. You do. It does.

I definitely have my preferences.  Here they are in a tidy list:

Month: October

Food: Thai, Chinese and Greek

Instrument: Guitar

Traffic: None

Composer: Zappa

Sport: Oh, come now

Team: Giants

Baseball Stadium: AT&T in San Francisco

Uh, except that last one.

It just changed. To Wrigley. It blew me over like a Champman fastball.

Wrigley is the home plate of baseball parks and I hope to see a thousand games there.  Or just one more inning.

So tonight, I am throwing it in for the Cubbies and their team of dreamers, most of whom made a pitstop or two in Kodak, TN to gives us all a preview of possible greatness until we can get to Wrigley.

So, let it be done. Raise the flag or break a million hearts

A Short Essay On Pence

11 Friday Mar 2016

Posted by apeville in Baseball, Baseball and Byond

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Tags

Baseball, Berm, Giants, Hunter Pence, Scottsdale Stadium, Todd Steed

PENCE

PENCE

It was a very hot desert afternoon but I walked straight to Scottsdale Stadium from my rental room several blocks away in honor of Hunter Pence.  I didn’t have a scooter, but feet are the next best thing. I was also hoping by committing this act of unity he would be in the lineup.  He wasn’t.

See exhibit A:

lineup

Read it a couple of times, his name still won’t be there.

I grabbed my frosty beverage (lemonade) and quickly found my primo seat in 208. The view was perfect and it was in the shade. To my left was a fairly rabid fan who spent much of the game bidding online for signed Duffy items. I liked him. Everything he said was right.

To my left was a sweet couple from Georgia who had no dog in the fight but were very happy to be there.  The belle noted she was cheering for the ‘blue team’ because she liked that color very, very much. When her boyfriend suggested this was unwise she countered with: This is America.  Diversity and stuff.  

I don’t know what that meant but I grew to like them both quickly as well.  Just as I got my score card adjusted they announced the lineup….. including the name PENCE.

PENCE!?  It was even better that they lied on the lineup. I love a switch surprise.

Seeing him take the field is akin to coming back from Buck Toms Summer Camp and realizing your best pal you made HAD JUST MOVED TO YOUR TOWN AND WAS NOW ATTENDING YOUR JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL.

Pence comforts.  Pence inspires. Pence makes us relax knowing he’s there for us with all his goofy, talent soaked equilibrium.  And he was. And he is. And he will be.

At first I panicked a little when he bobbled a ball and whiffed out on his first at bat. Was he  just setting us up?

At his next at bat, with Posey on second, he approached the plate like a starving caveman at a kale buffet. He was ready.  He watched 3 sliders turn into balls and waited for his pitch. The count was 3-1 after letting the one good slider get by. And then it came.  Fastball. Even faster leaving his bat for the left field berm. Perhaps beyond it. Perhaps it never landed. I know I haven’t.

That, my friends, is why the Hunter Pence bobblehead is the only bobblehead I own.

 

 

Cactus Vs. Grapefruit

11 Friday Mar 2016

Posted by apeville in Baseball, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Atlanta Braves, Baseball, Bill Buckner, Cactus Leage, Dodgers, Giants, Grapefruit League, Juevos, Mets, Ocean, Scottsdale, Yankees

IMG_0058

Now that I have ventured into both spring training realms, I must now decide which of these two sites wins.

Being a Giants fan I’m going to go ahead and admit bias and give the whole thing to the Cactus League.  There, that was easy.  Even so, it was still close.

Let’s look at the Pros and Cons.

Grapefruit Pros:

Many of the parks are more charming and have that ‘old style’ feel.  Florida Auto Exchange  in Dunedin, in particular, let’s you live with the players in the dugout. The Astros let you actually throw in the bullpen and will put you in for the last inning, but only if you are left handed and don’t mind wearing jersey #123.

Seafood.

Ocean.

BBQ.

You are close to Tarpon Springs where the Greek eats are unsurpassable.

It’s closer to Knoxville .*

Camp Childers goes there. 

Incredible disc golf courses abound.

Dali Museum in St. Pete.

The Phillie Phanatic can only be found in the Grapefruit League.  All other mascots are posers.

Grapefruit Cons:

The drives are long.  If you want to see the Mets one day and then the Blue Jays the next, you are in for a four hour drive. That’s a lot of Radiolab podcasts.

Orlando. I just don’t like this place. It’s wrong.  The fact that Braves play inside of Disneyworld is beyond comprehension. I like the Braves and their fans but I can’t stomach parking next to 12 tour busses of people about to buy things they probably don’t need.

If it’s above 90 degrees, your winterized body will suffer.

Orlando.  It bears repeating.

There are lots of Yankees fans everywhere. I have noticed them particularly in abundance at Yankees games. But they also take over the Blue Jays stadium, too.

Cactus Pros:

No humidity. (Extra points for this.)

Easy drives between stadiums.

Huevos Rancheros.

The Giants stadium is a perfect mix of old and new.  Not too fancy, not too shabby.

Lots of great AirBnB options.

Desert Botanical Gardens.

You might meet Bill Buckner.

IMG_0028

 

Cactus Cons:

Some spring training stadiums (I’m looking at you Rockies/Dbacks/Cubs) are nicer than some regular stadiums. This feels wrong, like Orlando feels wrong.

If games sell out, it’s way expensive to get tickets.

You have to admit how congenial Dodgers fans are. Until they start losing. Or winning.

It’s very far from Knoxville.*

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

So there you have it.  Cactus League takes the win. But Nate Silver knew that before I even conceived of this detailed analysis.

*If you are not from Knoxville, please ignore this statement or move to Knoxville.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My People! My People!

08 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by apeville in Baseball

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Baseball, Cactus Leage, Giants

IMG_9976

And so it is done. I finally pushed the ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO PURCHASE BUTTON? that sent me to Arizona for the Cactus League Spring Training games.

Being a Giants fan in Tennessee yields few opportunities to wax baseball with the locals. There are three obsessive fans that I know of in town, and I am one of them.  So, sure, I talk to myself about Giants baseball when nobody with a like mind is around.  It gets the job done and scares the lady at the Kroger checkout line at the same time.

The Giants training camp is in somewhat pleasant Scottsdale and that is where I am currently situated. Arizona in March is enough reason to come but the glorious bonus is that I get to mingle with other self-talkers from all over the country. I got so excited that I scoped out the last leg of my flight to see if there were any others from my tribe of self-talkers. There were, but they appeared to be just random order paranoids so I let them be.  Somebody arguing with a Dell computer is best left alone.

When I got off the plane (I refuse to use the term deplane, because Fantasy Island) there was a whole family of Giants fans in full regalia…hats, hoodies, shirts, key chains, and more.  I looked at them. They looked at me. The instant recognition/acceptance was palpable and reassuring.  But what should I say?

MY PEOPLE! MY PEOPLE!  That’s what I said.

That unsolicited utterance left all but the young boy with the Posey jersey slightly unsettled.

DAD! THAT’S US! HE’S ONE OF US! That’s what he said.

We are forever linked in the Great Link.

Then after an awkward silence, we gave the knowledgeable, if not slightly superior, almost invisible nod to each other and each scuttled on to our next destination.

As I settled in around Scottsdale I noticed many others from the Orange and Black Invasion, a term used by the locals that can be delivered with gratitude or derision, depending on who’s listening.

I never knew what to say before- the knowledgeable nod never seemed quite sufficient. So I tried my new catch phrase on all of them, except delivered with only one go round:  MY PEOPLE! 

Two MY PEOPLE! callouts just seems excessive at Walgreens.

My waitress at U.S. Egg (don’t laugh, it’s a superb and almost affordable breakfast option) was wearing a Diamond Backs shirt.  Oh, what the heck, let’s broaden the family a little bit, after all, it’s all baseball:  MY PEOPLE!

Should I just include all baseball fans?  If so, where does it stop?

I actually opted out at the afore mentioned Walgreens for the Giants fan that was berating the clerk for short changing him on his newspaper when in fact the geezer had forgotten to take his change out of the change shoot. But then, I still felt he was worth a nod, for I have been that dumbass, too, on more than one occasion. My people, indeed.

After a morning of this vocal high five wire act- I realized, perhaps due to vacation mind, just about everybody seemed like My People for some reason.

When the majestic Mingus music blared over the speakers at the Starbucks it was a minor miracle. A minor miracle is still a miracle, though, and I realized some of MY PEOPLE were making playlists decisions in Corporate America.  Perhaps, a major miracle, that.

I grabbed my tea and exited the Moby Dick inspired caffeine house on a good note. The more I walked around outside in the crisp Arizona air I noticed just about everybody was shining in the desert sun once my shades were removed.

Spotting a Dodgers fan at the trolley stop quickly snapped me back to reality.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vogelsong Scores a Hat, I Score a Selfie Opportunity

16 Saturday May 2015

Posted by apeville in Baseball

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Tags

Baseball, Cincinatti, Reds, Ryan Vogelsong

Few things in life are as exciting as going to Cincinnati. Am I right people?

You got yer cinnamon chili forced on to a plate of pasta, you got yer fantastic industrially financed art museums, you got your gritty downtown, and you will almost certainly run into Giants pitcher Ryan Vogelsong in a Greek Hat Shop.  Or, at least I did a few hours before the Reds Vs. Giants game on Thursday.

I was dragging my wife on a must-see speciality tour of downtown Cincy, which must include Batsakes hat shop on 6th Street.  I had already been once the day before but figured that she must also see it as she is Greek-American and it is owned by the friendliest Greek people in the state of Ohio. Greek people always seek out each other and I was just doing my part to continue that fine and mysterious tradition. Plus, they had lots of fabulous autographed baseballs I needed to inspect a little more closely.

When we got to the shop and I decided to give my kind wife an out, which she took. Which was not the expected response. So, I vetoed my own offer and counter-offered with a ‘just peek in variation’ that was ratified by a 3/4 majority.  (1/2 of me was feeling a bit of guilt and abstained on voting.)

As we walked in I immediately spotted the first San Francisco Giant I have ever seen that wasn’t on a baseball field.  It was Ryan Vogelsong. Pitcher.  All-Star Pitcher.  Nice human pitcher. Just standing there. Talking to Gus the hat salesman. Actually, Gus was doing most of the talking. Ryan was politely listening but seemed to be anxious to get out as Gus spouted on about cold war politics.

He got even more anxious (in a nice, professional sort of way) when he saw my Giants hoodie.

Oh crap, here we go... I could almost hear him thinking.

And this is where my inner dialogue took over between the fan in me and the man in me.

Fan: GET HIS PHOTO! NOW! YOU WILL NEVER HAVE THIS CHANCE AGAIN.

Man: He clearly doesn’t have time for this. I’d rather him focus on getting to practice.

Fan: HE’S A CELEBRITY, THIS IS PART OF HIS JOB.

Man: He’s a regular guy who’s in a hurry.  He’s a quiet non-celebrity type. He surely gets this all the time and I don’t want to add to the long list of people bugging him for no good reason.  It’s enough that he gives his all on the mound.  We have gone this long and never asked a celeb for a selfie.  Remember Mickey Rooney at the ice cream shop? Remember the guy from The Big Lebowski at the airport?  We let ’em be. And we felt good about it.

Fan: I DON’T CARE. THIS IS BASEBALL. It’s different.

Man: Isn’t enough that we got to run in to him? These guys work like dogs, give him some peace on his day off. Let him just have a normal run to the hat shop.

FAN: Yes. I guess you are right.  Hey Man, look out the window…..isn’t that Romo going in to Skyline Chili?

Man:  Where…? Wha…

FAN: Excuse me Ryan, do you have time for a two second selfie?

And he did. He was pretty gracious about it. I felt guilty about asking, I feel guilty about it now. And I will probably always feel guilty about it.  But I love the photo– even though I look like a what I was at that moment, a fan dweeb with no clue of what to say to him.

And I’ll never do it again. You know, unless, say…Duffy in a Mexican Restaurant. He looks like he’d love the attention.

Vogelsong with Dweeb

Vogelsong with Dweeb

We Could All Use A Free T-shirt..and other rationalizations.

26 Sunday Apr 2015

Posted by apeville in Baseball, Baseball and Byond

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Tags

auto repair, Baseball, bsaeball, minor league, nashville sounds

So if there is a new MILB ballpark opening anywhere within one tank of gas, I gotta go.  So I went to Nashville.  On a Tuesday.  And it was kind of cold.  And my car broke down. And there was a fix-it place with great Yelp reviews one block from where it started to go down.  And they fixed it in one hour.  And they didn’t cheat me. But it was still more money than I wanted to spend. But it could have broken down on I-40 in Putnam County. But it didn’t. And now it’s fixed and running better than ever.  So I was I was off to races. And it was free T-shirt night.  But only if you are one of the first 1,000 in the park.  And I was. So I got one. And it’s 100% cotton. And now I was warmer with extra cotton.

Sometimes you just have get out of town in a sickly car and take some chances if you want a free bright red Nashville Sounds T-shirt. I know I own a thrift store full of T-shirts.  But this one is RED. And FREE. And real COTTON. And….RED.

IMG_7676

I got there about an hour before my pal (as opposed to sitting on the side of I-40 in Putnam County) and decided to do the glorious walk around First Tennessee Park. Nothing says baseball like a bank I have no love for.  But, in this case, I’ll have to call it even with said bank because the park is fabulous. It’s big, clean, fun, chocked full of gregarious staff and padded seats, and as a bonus (?)…. a wandering hot chicken.

Anybody else got an idea why the hot chicken is a mascot?

I didn’t think so.

My long time pal and musical cohort Dug Meech met me at the gate and we assumed our padded seats down the third base line. We managed to see a great evening of baseball, discuss the record we are working on, have some laughs about beer sales pitches and aging, and not see Barry Zito.

Speaking of the beer, it came in GIANT CANS.  But it was chilly enough to where an enthusiastic ‘coldest beer in Nashville’ claim didn’t sound particularly appealing. In fact, that’s how he talked me out of it. Dug, being ready for any adventure, went for it. I had beer envy fairly soon after that.

Somewhere before last call, the enthusiastic senior pushing giant beer in a shiny can was giving it one more go to some reluctant drinkers on the first row. As he gave up and walked away, he slowly turned back for one final pitch:

I’m just trying to help you people!

He went down swinging.

A Nice Place to Sit

10 Tuesday Mar 2015

Posted by apeville in Baseball

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Tags

Baseball, Make-A-Wish, Spring Training

About this time last year I was zooming down I-75, rocking out to an obscure live Springsteen recording, windows down, hopes high, Fritos slowly digesting as I made my way to spring training in Florida.  There is nothing quite like the anticipation of baseball season.  Except that moment when it arrives. You get a second chance every single year and they all feel the same. Fabulous.

This all makes for an enjoyable 12-hour drive. It’s the drive back that kills the joy. The only thing the drive back offers is an experience in the rear view mirror, temps dropping every 20 exit signs or so and many great opportunities to eat rotating corn dogs at the Shell station.

So, this year, I flew.  Or the plane did, I just sat there.

I have tired of the flying experience but at least when flying I don’t have to concentrate while moving at high speeds. Just give me an aisle seat, some pretzels and a junky magazine and I’ll be somewhere in near the ‘content’ range.

If I’m being greedy, I prefer sitting next to an empty seat.  That not being possible, I’ll settle for small people.  Not children, but small and not particularly chatty adult humans.  Do I need to explain that even though I like children just fine I REALLY don’t want to share that space with them? I didn’t think so.

Clear skies, no wind, on time.  Moving easily through time and space. Perfect.  Oh, but wait, as  bonus I realized I was sitting next to a very small adult.  Enough leg room for each of my legs. No cramps. No frowns.

I would say this pushed me into the high end of ‘content’ range. The self-hyped anticipation of the upcoming baseball adventure had not been in vain. I was about to see MORE, MORE, MORE BASEBALL. IN THE SUN. OUTSIDE. WITHOUT SNOW.

The only thing that really grated on my particular set of nerves was the squeaking of the mic caused by a rather poor understanding of sound and audio equipment by our otherwise top notch flight staff.  (And yes, I know the mic itself doesn’t squeak. I put it that way in case any flight attendants are reading this, less they be baffled.)

They broke in just about cruising altitude to tell us that on our flight was a certain little eight year old girl named Courtney.  Courtney was about to pop out of her seat because her whole family was going to the worlds of both Disney and Sea, courtesy of the Make-A-Wish-Foundation. I don’t know what Courtney’s back story was, but I sensed something very tragic in it.  Dressed in painfully adorable Minnie Mouse gear, she even took the mic herself to tell everybody her plans.  Her mom was wet eyed.  And here I thought I was the most excited kid on the plane.

I believe that’s right about when the guilt started to set in.  GO AWAY GUILT, DO NOT RUIN MY PERFECT VACATION.

Yet it returned.

Along with silent thoughts like: Maybe I should have taken the money for this trip and given it to the Make-A-Wish-Foundation.

Countered by thoughts like: Oh come on dude, you can still give money to the Make-A-Wish-Foundation, or help somebody out along the way, or something. There’s space enough in the joy room for both you, Courtney and her crying mom. 

And thoughts like: Don’t you feel funny about worrying about the size of the person in the seat next to you given what true suffering is going on in the world? And the fact YOU, tall man who eats Fritos, are cramping the person next to you?

Countered by:  Yeah, I feel a little sheepish on that one.

I thought about all of this a lot and was not finished thinking about it when the plane touched down in Orlando. It hung in my head all the way through baggage claim.

I’m still not sure that I reached a conclusion- but I do know when life offers you a good seat, appreciate it, and just sit.

28.146285 -82.757501

Today’s Comment

20 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by apeville in Baseball

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Tags

Baseball, box score, bush, clinton, groove

If another Bush has to run for president, I hope it’s Barbara. She’s the best one because she keeps box scores by hand at baseball games. If another Clinton has to run for president, I hope it’s George. That way, we can have one nation under a groove.

Six weeks until pitchers and catchers report and finally stop sitting at home watching bad movies

05 Monday Jan 2015

Posted by apeville in Uncategorized

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Baseball, pitchers and catchers, Pompeii sucks

So, these hollywood moguls got together in a nice conference room with some quality coffee and came up with an idea: Let’s make a movie with a bunch of guys, hopefully on the attractive side for the good guys, and they all shoot each other all the time, killing a lot of unattractive people. Then they shoot a bunch of other people of all styles. Then maybe, if that gets to be a bit played out, somebody gets some dynamite to blow people up all over the place. Then some more shooting. And then everybody chases somebody. 

Mogul 1: Ah, we’ve done that a lot lately.

Mogul 2: Yeah, true. How about we just change it to stabbing instead of guns?

Mogul 1: Great idea, brilliant! We can make it in Roman times so there can be lots of bloody squishing swords. But what do we change the dynamite to?

Mogul 3: Well….say,….volcanic projectile fire? And, you know, we should probably throw in an attractive semi-ethnic looking female in there to fall for the attractive underdog guy who stabs real good. And, uh, the marketing department says to make him British.  Also, via text, they approved ‘semi-ethnic’ but told us not to go past that and to be sure and avoid ethnic classic.

Mogul 2: And some more stabbing? Everybody good on some extra stabbing? Great. Is a flood overdoing it?

Mogul President: NOW, we’re talking. I have no idea what to call it though. We’ll think of something. Pretend it’s historical and we’re good to go.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Hence concludes my review of Pompeii.

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