Tags
Baseball, Baseball Gods, Giants, pirates, pittsburgh, wildcard
Today, on the Book Face, Chapter 1, Day 09/28/14, it was written, by scribe Amy Williams, that the Baseball Gods Are Real. I know some of you non-believers out there have reasons to be skeptical despite Jeter’s walk-off win on his last game in pinstripes. Despite the retiring Paulie Konerko being given his 2005 World Series grand slam ball by the fan that caught it- and that fan went on to catch Konerko’s foul ball in the very same game that night.
You want a classic miracle? What about Babe Ruth promising a sick boy a home run and delivering? And there are million more. Just google BASEBALL GODS GRANT WISH. So now, with devout humility, I offer this humble prayer to the Gods of Baseball, wherever their condo is. And you KNOW they have a kickass condo.
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Ye Gods of Baseball, first off, forgive me for striking out in my last at-bat in Little League and disappointing my teammates and imaginary fans. Sure feels good to finally get that one off my chest. I come to you now for a favor. As you know, I usually ask nothing, but blindly accept the cruel and beautiful fates you offer on a daily basis 162 days per year.
But I must confess that I every-so-sincerely do want to go to Pittsburg with the divine frequent flyer miles I have accrued from much necessary travel and from unnecessary Amazon.com purchases. However, to see my beloved Giants play in Pittsburg on Wednesday around 7:10, I sure could use the following before the hotel prices go up: I need the Pirates to lose today. I don’t want them to feel too much pain- so don’t make it gory, just a simple one-run loss will do. I’m not greedy- thanks to you, oh mighty Baseball Gods for you have made it so the Pirates have to use their best starting pitcher TODAY- I thank you for that. For now, he won’t be able to pitch on Wednesday, the Wild Card game in question. Don’t think I don’t see what you did there.
That actually will do it. If that is SIMPLY TOO MUCH, just let the Cards beats the D-backs. Again, one or two runs is plenty. No grand slam heroics. Save that for Wednesday. Say, for Madbum. It’s been weeks since he’s hit one. Because, as you know dear and very real Baseball Gods, If the Cards win, yes, I will get to see my first post-season Giants game AND also finally get to visit the Andy Warhol museum. If you can grant this wish, I can push the button that says: USE FREQUENT FLYER MILES FOR TYS>NEWARK>PITT.
Sure, I could have gone through Chicago saving me two hours, but the NON-BASEBALL Gods have made a big mess up there at O’Hare. OK, that’s it for now. Since I have your attention, I would ask you to lower beer prices at PNC park by one or two dollars, but that’s piling on, I reckon.
A 10-dollar beer, after all, is a glorious, mysterious, scared thing.