Tag Archives: AA baseball

Isn’t One Christmas Enough?

05 Wednesday Aug 2015

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Minor League organizations will try anything to get the crowds in. Sometimes going to such lengths as staging a competitive baseball match, for example.

Other times they are less willing to gamble on radical ideas like the one above, so they trot out the ole’ trusty prime promotions such as Star Wars Night, Revenge of the Jedi Afternoon, Jar-Jar Binks Bobblehead Evening, and so forth.

Lately the classic bobblehead giveaways have been augmented by more cutting edge fare: garden gnomes, oven mitts, and of course the stunning snow globe.  The snow globes go ball in glove with the ‘Christmas in July’ concept, of which I was a recent witness when the Tennessee Snow Smokies took on the Chattanooga Be On the Lookout for Santas.  You think I’m lying?  Call George Middlebrooks at home and ask him.  Wait until the baby is asleep, please.

That’s right, Christmas in July. Because why have it in a season with no baseball?  Not everybody can afford to go the Honduras winter league to get that synced up double dose of America’s greatest game and most profitable holiday.

The Smokies promo team wasn’t messing around, either. There was a barbershop quartet belting out Deck The Halls and Rudolph as folks waited in a long line, their lips wet with anticipatory drool over the thought of being one of the first 1,000 to get a FREE SNOW GLOBE. Or two. Or six. Then leave without going to the game. Then putting the arched art keepsakes on E-bay.

I will say this- the barbershop quartet did an outstanding and refreshingly original take on the National Anthem.

There were other signs of the season around the park, a couple of girls getting their elf decor on, people buying more than they needed, eating more than their bodies demanded, and such. But, otherwise, it was just a great evening for baseball. Wonderfully close minor league affordable seats, good company, quality play, and salty sustenance. Also on display, lots of outstanding pitching, especially from the Lookout for Santas. The Smokies came back in the ninth to try and tie but but that sled had done sailed.  And then we all returned to our respective poles. Some of us with globes, and others who simply wished for one.

Baseball During Work Hours, part 1

12 Saturday Apr 2014

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Day Game Warmup The weather forecast read PERFECT, so I got the day off and headed down for the Tennessee Smokies day game, located conveniently off exit 407. The pre-noon start time was a bit puzzling, but I was intrigued just the same.

With good weather secured, I engaged the fantasy plan on the drive down: I’d get a great seat, close, down the first base line. Maybe not directly behind the dugout, but a row back from that. This way, a line foul would decapitate the person in front of me and still allow me to catch it, the ball being slowed down and all. I don’t collect autographs, so I don’t need the ‘hassle the guys working’ seating location of directly behind the dugout. Also, since this was my day off, I’d allow myself a nice cool beer to with a pretzel chaser. Being the reasonable type, I’d wait until after noon, or the third inning, whichever came first.

.A day game on a weekday would almost certainly assure me the best seat in the house, perhaps with nobody next to me on either side. And an aisle seat, well, of course an isle seat. The best part of the plan was that it would be easy to execute.  But, Steed, be safe, check the schedule for crazy themes that attract people who love themes but hate baseball. Relief. The schedule indicated the theme of the day was ‘health and safety’- and if that didn’t drive away the causal fan, I don’t know what else would.

As I pulled into the very short line outside of the stadium, a quick glance to the left turned up a lot of yellow. A LOT OF YELLOW. YES, THAT KIND OF NOT-SUNSHINE YELLOW. Oh, I see, this is where Sevier County Schools probably park their busses while the kids are studying away. Except these buses were from many counties. Uh oh. I schlepped toward the ticket booth with dread. They didn’t have to tell me, I could hear FIVE THOUSAND SCREAMING FOURTH GRADERS. WITH GOOD SEATS.

While I waited in line, the blaring pre-show entertainment was definitely geared towards those who have yet to bathe in the existence of algebra and prom.

When I got to the front of the line, the ticket lady looked at me with deep pity before I asked the inevitable question.

“What seats are left?”

“Bleacher. Only. And the berm.”

I took my nine-dollar ticket and kept walking until I was almost to the right field fence. But, wait- this seat is…kinda…cool. I am right in front of the bullpen. I’m in the sun. Nobody beside me. No kids, except the polite ones six rows behind me, not even in line of sight. The players are chatting with us. They…like us? They like us! THESE ARE AWESOME SEATS. I WIN, I WIN. MY FANTASY WAS DESTROYED BUT AT THE SAME TIME, REVEALED TO ME WAS THE TRUE NATURE OF THE UNIVERSE.

And that nature is: Be happy you got a seat, asshole.