Monthly Archives: January 2015

Six weeks until pitchers and catchers report and finally stop sitting at home watching bad movies

05 Monday Jan 2015

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So, these hollywood moguls got together in a nice conference room with some quality coffee and came up with an idea: Let’s make a movie with a bunch of guys, hopefully on the attractive side for the good guys, and they all shoot each other all the time, killing a lot of unattractive people. Then they shoot a bunch of other people of all styles. Then maybe, if that gets to be a bit played out, somebody gets some dynamite to blow people up all over the place. Then some more shooting. And then everybody chases somebody. 

Mogul 1: Ah, we’ve done that a lot lately.

Mogul 2: Yeah, true. How about we just change it to stabbing instead of guns?

Mogul 1: Great idea, brilliant! We can make it in Roman times so there can be lots of bloody squishing swords. But what do we change the dynamite to?

Mogul 3: Well….say,….volcanic projectile fire? And, you know, we should probably throw in an attractive semi-ethnic looking female in there to fall for the attractive underdog guy who stabs real good. And, uh, the marketing department says to make him British.  Also, via text, they approved ‘semi-ethnic’ but told us not to go past that and to be sure and avoid ethnic classic.

Mogul 2: And some more stabbing? Everybody good on some extra stabbing? Great. Is a flood overdoing it?

Mogul President: NOW, we’re talking. I have no idea what to call it though. We’ll think of something. Pretend it’s historical and we’re good to go.

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Hence concludes my review of Pompeii.